Grey Eyes
by Aloony
Summary: Some memories haunt forever. Oneshot. Hints at suicide. Slash. HD


**Title: Grey Eyes**

**Author: Aloony**

**Summary: Some memories never leave. **

**Rating: For angst, hinted suicide and lying. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue. **

**H**arry Potter stared out of his window with that long-deadened emerald gaze. He had a cup of steaming black coffee in his hands but paid no attention to it. The moments he spent after waking were his own. He didn't have to smile or act. Didn't need to put on a show and go about his business with the eyes of the Wizarding world always on him. No, for a bit he could be himself and think his own thoughts. While forcing himself to swallow blistering hot coffee he could think of people lost and memories that would haunt him forever.

_Ice grey eyes, watching him, studying, judging, hating…and loving. _

The face that would never leave him. The memory and presence of the man he'd loved and the man he'd killed.

"_Why are you doing this Harry?" The voice was laced with pain. Raw, terrible pain that trembled in the air. Harry looked away, swallowing thickly. "Look at me, damn you!" Rough hands grabbed the sides of his face and forced green eyes to stare into grey. "I've told you that I'll risk anything for you. I've told you that I love you. Why do you want this to be our last night together? What is going on?" The eyes searched Harry, leaving the painful feeling of being stripped to the bone. _

_Finally Harry had to respond. He had to hurt the man he loved deeply, to make him hate Harry and leave. He stared into grey eyes, trying to make his voice as flat and truthful as possible. His lover's hands had fallen to his shoulders. "There is a battle coming. Are you willing to fight for our side against your family and your beliefs? Are you willing to fight and maybe die for me, Draco? The man you love…" Harry paused for a split second, wanting to wrap his arms around his lover and never let go. "But who doesn't love you in return?" Draco flinched, his face expressing disbelief and hurt but still his hands did not leave Harry's shoulders. Harry swallowed thickly not wanting to continue but knowing he had to make Draco believe the lies he was spewing. "I don't think it is right that you are endangered under a false impression, Draco." The raven-haired man hoped his voice was cold enough. Detached enough. When Draco gasped and took a step back, Harry knew he had struck him deeply. _

_For a long moment there was silence. Shadows and fine, silver hair hid his Draco's face from view. When the Slytherin did look up, Harry could barely stop himself from flinching. The face looking back at him was frozen and expressionless. The eyes looking back at him had never resembled ice so much as in that moment. "They say that we Slytherins are the masters of cruelty and betrayal. They must never have met you." With that biting comment the blonde boy glided out of the room, not once looking back. _

_Alone now, as he had wished, Harry collapsed to the floor. His eyes remained dry but they were empty of emotion. _

The now warm coffee rippled as two drops of clear liquid slid down the Saviour's chin and fell into the mug with barely a sound. Harry looked down at his hands for a moment and frowned as if unsure where he was. Then reality hit, his eyes cleared and he swallowed the rest of his coffee, tears and all. He set the mug down on a counter and stared at it before losing himself in memories again.

_Hexes flew back and forth between the white masked Deatheaters and a handful of Aurors on the right as dark creatures tore through Order of the Phoenix members on the left. When a sudden silence fell and the fighters directly in front of Harry parted, the Boy-Who-Lived saw the Dark Lord Voldemort standing before him. His wand was outstretched and the crimson eyes riveted on Harry shone with malicious glee. _

"_Finally we meet again. Let's make this the last battle. A battle to your death, Potter," Voldemort hissed in the language only he and Harry knew. Harry didn't bother replying, as the Dark Lord clearly expected him to. Instead he threw a spell Hermione had found weeks ago. Unfortunately it missed but the Final Battle had begun. _

_Spells, charms, curses and hexes flew back and forth between them and Harry knew his only chance to actually defeat the Dark Lord was to stop him early. Harry probably didn't know half as many spells as Voldemort did. When he was hit by a dark curse that made blood run out of his pores he knew he was in trouble. He tried a finite incantatem but that only slowed the bleeding. Within minutes he was considerably weaker and it was no surprise when he was hit by a cruciatus curse next. Knowing and accepting that he was about to die, he tried to gather his concentration. Now was not the time to succumb to the pain. Between loud cries he muttered the same spell he had shut off at the beginning and was immeasurably relieved to feel the cruciatus curse fade and to hear the Dark Lord shout in pain. _

_The curse was an obscure, dark one. It destroyed a soul inside a living body much like the Dementor's kiss. Hermione's theory was that since Voldemort didn't technically have a living body it would destroy him in all ways, physically, mentally and spiritually. The downside was that it was a slow-acting curse. Harry stood, shaking, eyes on the dying Voldemort. His whole body hurt and his mind was numbed from the blood loss he had suffered before the spell was nullified. When Voldemort shot his last curse Harry was too slow to react. Then a blond blur pushed Harry violently out of the way and was hit in the back with the green light. Voldemort uttered a yell of pure rage then there was a blinding light. The next instant all traces, except for a dark wand, of Voldemort had disappeared. _

_Pure chaos erupted from all sides but the man who had killed the Dark Lord didn't notice. His foggy brain was occupied with one thing. The man who had saved his life was none other than Draco Malfoy. Harry uttered a low moan of denial and crawled over to the body of his lover. He turned the body over and saw a soft smile gracing Draco's lips. He wrapped his arms around the man and rested his head on the still chest, muttering his love's name over and over under his breath as he succumbed to unconsciousness. _

Harry remembered waking in the Hospital Wing, with his friends by his side. There was much celebrating around him but Harry just felt hollow. He had lied hurtfully to Draco to keep him away but still he had sacrificed his life for Harry's. The world slowly righted itself after many funerals. A large memorial was set up on Hogwarts grounds where the battle had occurred. Harry received an Order of Merlin 1st class but nothing could draw him out of his constant state of emptiness. After a few weeks he managed to cry for his dead love and didn't stop crying. He refused to eat and barely slept until one day he miraculously 'recovered' to the relief of all his friends.

A year later when Arthur Weasley was elected Minister for Magic, Harry couldn't very well refuse the offer to work as an Auror so now he had a good job, wonderful friends and was, on the outside, happy. Inside, however, Harry felt as hollow as he had moments after watching Draco take the curse rightfully meant for Harry.

Harry washed his coffee cup and put it away then dressed and apparated to the Ministry. As he walked he felt the crinkle of parchment in his pocket. It was a letter they had found on Draco's person when he'd been murdered. Next to the parchment had been a vial of poison, still unopened and full, that he had obviously meant to drink after the battle. Harry kept both the vial and the letter with him always.

_I would die for you, Harry, if I couldn't live for you. _

_Always, Draco. _

He kept the poison with him because sometimes the weight of grey eyes could become too much, even for the Saviour of the Wizarding World.

**Fin. **

**A/N.**

**Review please! **


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